Your Mindfulness Questions Not Answered

Having been raised Buddhist and having taught meditation for the last sixteen years I’m delighted to see the spike in interest in mindfulness. That said, sometimes people may not really know what that word means. Since my first book, The Buddha Walks into a Bar, came out five years ago, a number of people have read it and written me questions about mindful living. Many of those questions made it into my second book, Walk Like a Buddha. Here are the questions that didn’t make it:*


My dog is the light of my life and my heart breaks entirely every time I see him. His only gaping flaw that makes me so mad that I could scream is that he eats his food so fast. We sit down to dinner together and before I even get past my appetizer he’s eaten all of his dog food. Do you have any tips for mindful eating for my dog? 


I recently discovered Mindful Mayo at my local Whole Foods and I love the taste. But no matter how much I eat it I don’t feel myself becoming more mindful! Am I eating it right? Should I put it somewhere other than my mouth? 


I’m a career assassin and thanks to my daily mindfulness meditation practice I’m in line to win Assassin of the Year by my guild. Yet I can’t seem to shake the feeling that there might be something more to life. Is there? Did the Buddha teach anything beyond mindfulness?


I love what you’ve done with MNDFL. I’m a career psychic and while I’m not exactly sure what the future holds for me I do know that I’m meant to open a studio just like what you have opened in New York City. I’ve never meditated before but think that owning a meditation studio must be the best job ever with zero stress as a business owner. Can you send me your financials - and better yet any leads on investors - so I can replicate it?


Hi I’m sixteen years old and I love mindfulness so much. I watch YouTube videos on mindfulness where the guy guides me through a guided exercise where I take money from my parents’ wallets and mail it to him in Boise, Idaho. I feel so at peace when I do this. Are there any additional types of mindfulness meditations I can do?


I love to do mindfulness all the time. I mindfully snowboard, mindfully jet ski, mindfully do kegstands, and mindfully bully people online. The one thing I don’t do is meditate. Do I really have to do that? People say it’s the “foundation of mindfulness” or whatever. But it sounds sorta boring so I’m just gonna go on Facebook and troll people, byeeee.


*these are not real questions that I’ve least for the most part